Kindly follow the new Blog.. Efharisto

I am catching up with the modern way of blogging, apparently Wordpress is the way to go. Thanks to all those who have patronized this page and read all my bullshit. Now I'm asking you not so humbly to continue indulging my useless ramblings on www.80griots.wordpress.com Thanks a bunch..

FUCK YO' FEELINGS!

Writing this article has taken months yet. I am not entirely sure I'm still mentally prepared to  explore every aspect of the subject. The idea of giving a fuck or not giving two vulture shits. New age personas versus age-old character traits--rules of engaging with other humans. Intimate or platonic, relationships border around authenticity, fakery, humoring, egos, who cares more, who gives and receives and communication.

It is increasingly difficult to form real relationships because the dynamics of it are evolving faster than the occurrence of tweets per second. There are the stoic and brazen. The ones who find any display of emotion repulsive, a punk act or bitch-made. Agreeably, there are appropriate instances where these colorful adjectives are beyond fitting. However, there is a part of the dynamic that I find fueled by fear of seeming weak or uncool.. Like a sucker. Of course there are the few who are truly closed off emotionally but come on, how many of us are truly "stone-frozen CIA operative willing to sacrifice their mother to retrieve information from a terrorist  about the location of a home-made chemical bomb cell" cold? Most of the time, I am suspecting it as our mechanism for avoiding hurt or emotional discomfort. That shit can be depressing, I should know.

The era of social media makes it almost impossible to manage a balanced approach to human relationships. Like people tweeting out LOL instead of actually laughing out loud at the joke.Those that expose their vulnerabilities get chewed out and regurgitated of the ruminant variety. Not pretty. No one likes to seem weak or needy and then real friendships fall apart over simple differences of opinion. Pride is a necessary element of character but if it is the only character trait, are we not depriving ourselves of a more fulfilling human experience? I could use a dose of that advice in more important aspects of the relationship hierarchy - intimacy. 

The overly emo ones can be ridiculous too, can't they? That one friend who falls in love at the drop of a date or fling, fish-lining a deeper meaning from every action or statement. Creating mountains of emotion where they don't exist or belong. Like, "she brought my Starbucks latte in her left hand so that means she has feelings for me now", or on the contrary, "she's upset that I borrowed her pencil without her permission earlier this morning". No freak, you are NOT that important to warrant all these elaborate scheming gestures that express others' feelings about your most trivial actions. Get it together.

As a male, I think we have certain moments where we are stewing with certain emotions that we have to fight with every blood cell and macho muscle in our shell even if it is clothed in a depth of fat. Like when you really want to know why she's now fucking him and not you? Yeah, you have to refrain bruh. Don't ask that question, it usually won't be the truth or too ego-damaging. Or going through her phone to get up on if she's really telling you the truth about her recent sudden sleepiness-- it never fails-- she drops off into deep sleep like she was drowned in a barrel of liquid Diazepam 2minutes after you were both just LOL'ing on facetime. Don't do it, it is an invasion of privacy and once you cross that line you slowly slip-- mutating into that monster who has a need to control everything. This is dating not an episode of a  foray into your unexplored Dr. Who skills. If you don't trust her, you might have to deal with another emotion-- one of loss and cut her loose or accept her new sleep pattern and re-adjust the schedule of your chattiness. Or become more interesting, I don't know.. Move in with her, something, anything but invade her privacy.. 

So far I have nothing mind blowing because even in writing this, I'm guarding my thoughts from my emotions. What I feel and think are autonomous in their own regard. They influence each other but are two very separate expressions. Not exclusive to my being but I decided to write this unmasked so let me just... When it comes to intimacy, like wanting to be in love, who doesn't want that? There is that part of me that wants to peruse every inch of flesh on those ungodly looking females that are posted online everyday. Fantasize like every normal red-blooded heterosexual male should. Then sometimes, I fear the idea of commitment not because of the notion of being stuck with one vagina for life but I really just don't wanna invest all these emotions and it ends up being for naught. That sounds wimpish but it is a real fear. Chalk it up to a turbulent whatever.. Growing up and witnessing so many failed marriages and broken homes that make you wonder, what is the point of it all? 

Even scarier is the concept of expectations. Can you be the man you are expected to be, provide and protect and also earn enough to maintain a woman's love and respect? If I'm alone with these thoughts then I just ousted myself as a squeamish guy who is afraid of going after what he wants. LOL. I think we all like the idea of stability and being assured that it will last. The reality is people change, their feelings, likes and dislikes, sexual preferences, interests.. whatever. You can't manage these tangibles. You can take an educated gamble. I find that, one has to be willing to risk something for a real relationship. Hopefully, it pans out but the risk is worth taking if most of your peperronis are in order on the pie. There is always another option or the plural but you can't afford not to make a choice. Who am I preaching to? 

Fuck it, just be authentic, do what you want and live with the repercussions. I wrote this far and suddenly got jolted by a fact I've always known. There are no simple answers to the issues of emotions and their role in the quality of life we live. Only thing one can do is risk something, I just hope to make as calculated a gamble as my inspiration for life did; Jay Z. Okay who am I kidding, that is the stuff of fantasy and I'm sure they have challenges that are veiled to the public but damn do they make a nigga wanna duplicate their union. This is not going the way I have juggled in my thoughts for many months. I think it is lacking a certain grit, the deeper darker truths about the challenges of emotions in life. I meant to express thoughts like; how do you know if you really want her or is it because you are lonely? That thought is a little too challenging because you cannot know unless you have precedent. If you happen to only like her after she left and it is your first time feeling the enormity of such a loss, it may be genuine. If this is a pattern, you are laying in a bag of dicks my friend. Real nigga shit, by nigga I mean any human being, male or female. I cuss like a sailor when I'm frustrated and right now, I hate this topic. It's bringing emotions into play that are too personal. 

Sorry I wasted your time, there's nothing here to be told and if I upset you, fuck off and deal with your own gatdamn emotions my nigga, I'm not Freud and even he fucked up a lot. I'd say 90% of his assertions were bullshit even though he's considered the father of psychology! There wasn't much intellectual competition back then I assume because I swear I know not one guy that fantasizes about sleeping with their own mother. Not a one. That is an outlier behavioral pattern. If you are one of those, seek help, it is a sick thing.All the ramblings in summation just says; manage your feelings but don't obsess over them and don't be too much of a poser or a needy person either. By the way, I wish some of you more well-rounded people with better character than me will comment on this blog(I was just told wordpress.com would be the better format for this feat so I'm moving there as soon as I get the time to), I know I seem arrogant as fuck but I'm not as bad. I like dialogue and right now I have plenty time to chat with anyone that has an opinion. I'm yearning for some online love, a connection to screen names and shit so don't hold back, the feeling can be mutual or commensalic(a derivative of commensalism that I coined because I was too lazy to think of a more appropriate word). Take two.

Corruption Done Right

Educated Ghanaians are mostly elitist. Accepting and understanding this can open up the conversation for reforming our culturally corrupt system in a more effective manner. Those who have worked their way to better education and awareness usually have a dismissive disposition towards the general uneducated masses. That elitism exists, surprisingly, even in other educated circles based on what institution one studied at. I am not here to proclaim some sort of idealist view on why we are all equal and beyond. God knows I'm just as guilty of this accusation I'm leveling here. I just honestly believe that we invest our elitism in the wrong endeavors. It is far more costly for the uneducated masses to remain ignorant and impoverished than it will be for these elites to invest their time, energy and resources to increase literacy and awareness among the populace! I am here to discuss corruption or rather drown you in my opinionated ideas of how we can change things for the better. Corruption exists everywhere, the key is to control and manage it's effect with a neutral function that is independent of human control.


 We understand and embrace corruption at a very early age. We know for certain that when we are of driving age, our driver's licenses will be served to our homes conveniently without taking one driving test(road test or written exam) administered by a public official. Mine was handed to me by the roadside somewhere in Dansoman on an uneventful weekday afternoon. Paper for paper. You have money, you can buy a Drivers License, simply put. I was 16 maybe--(The first document that validates our arrival into adulthood is usually acquired through corrupt means-- a warped stamping of what life is or will be-- corrupt!). Every discussion I have with the most educated, most religious, most pious and most passionate Ghanaians about corruption has ended in this one bottom line; "man for chop cha". I disagree but I seem to be one of only three people I know who I can pricked-finger-vouch for their incorruptible character as it relates to embezzlement in public or private office. Bless her & grandpops. The problem here is much bigger than the three of us, so my solution is for us to bend corruption in the direction of the greater good.

Corruption exists everywhere in the Western World-- our default yardstick for measuring all that is corrupt and broken in our system.. The only difference is, the basics of a functioning society are not attached to the meanderings of petty corruption. I cannot get way with bribing a police officer for pulling me over for a broken tail light. The cost of the penalty is probably $100 or less.. If I offered a corrupt cop $100 to overlook the broken tail light, he'll most likely lock me up immediately. The risk is not worth it for both parties - 1. I could be setting him up to lose his job along with all the benefits it affords him OR contrarily  2. He can immediately jail me for attempted bribery of a police officer. He is not a saint and neither am I the pinnacle of law abiding morals but we both refrain and obey the law because the system works. We both(cop & I) have to risk too much just to break "petty laws" which however, manage and maintain public road safety-- an extremely important issue. We respect the consequences of the law. This is the neutral function I speak of. The risk involved has neutralized the possibility of corruption in this instance.

If I ran through a traffic light in Ghana, the repercussions are solvable in the unlikelihood that I was apprehended for it. The depth of my pocket provides instant resolution for my "oversight". The underpaid policeman will take what he can get in exchange for my lack of regard for the traffic rules, other drivers and the lives of pedestrians be damned. 20Ghc buys me Above The Law status instantly. This carries on through every public institution all the way up to the President. A Ghanaian president and his subordinates will negotiate a deplorable deal like what was done in the case of the oil refinery project and can confidently know that there will be zero blowback from selling out the countries resources at such a costly low value. Him and his boys can now tour Dubai more often with their Legon girlfriends and spend exponentially more on shopping than an average citizen needs to purchase some critical stationery items for school-- books and pencils. This is real and we all know of these things. We nonchalantly accept it as part of who we are. I detest it even if it is my own flesh and blood engaging in this type of behavior, I will call them out.

Two weekends ago I was humbled to be in pretty great company. We were celebrating a friends impending fatherhood status. Someone I truly admire, his convictions and character are way above reproach, at least by my standards. Everyone at the table was highly educated-- the formal kind ie except me. Some even graduated from Ivy League colleges. The discussions encompassed a wide range of subjects; from things plaguing Ghana and how the simple solutions have not been implemented. I'm usually excessively talkative and a bit more personal than our culture approves of. I will tell you a story that involves a decision one of my parents made that I find deplorable without hesitation. I only do this for the sake of truth and improvement. I love my parents beyond belief, I just don't agree with their business decisions and some of their moral ones. Love to me is not agreeing with someone's bad decisions. Anyway, the point is I can usually feel peoples' cringes roasting my arm hairs when  I'm that candid and launch into my diatribe about all the things that are fixable and using these very personal familial incidents to paint a picture of why we are struggling as a people. We discussed the falling Cedi, the bad oil deal we took, why we don't have clean drinking water for all our people in 2014, lamented the lack of social welfare, why sewage is still a huge problem and why all our major developments, however unnecessary, are centered in the over saturated Accra. We even got into why Mahama, won over Akuffo-Addo-- Mr. Paradigm as I teasingly call him is the epitome of the elitism I'm talking about in the first paragraph. and circled around the myriad of issues that engulf how we campaign and communicate to the masses.  We momentarily paused to acknowledge that our issues seem overwhelming and daunting.


Why there seems to be a church every ten feet in our communities and why a pastor is commanding currencies to rise and fall when he is absolutely educated enough to know that this is a sin of Luciferian proportions. The economists among us refrained from using too much economic jargon and lingo to explain the real cause of the falling Cedi and the unstable nature of our currency. I had to interject my no-degree holding common sense for a minute. I get tired of these made up complexities of economics that are essentially hypotheticals conjured by bored brains who wanted to create derivatives of the most basic concepts of the existing economic conditions. One of the reasons Ghana's Cedi is currently back in a seemingly bottomless spiral to shit town besides whatever antics the US Treasury is pulling with interest rates is-- we never took the time to fix the most fundamental problem in the first place. When President Kuffuour's administration was happily touting re-denomination as some sort of elixir for the ailing Cedi to the masses, I was barely in my mid 20's with zero experience in managing a country's economic and financial issues but knew the fix they prescribed was a case of pouring dried lava into a plastic garbage bag and leaving it out in 699 degree weather endlessly... A disaster waiting to melt and destroy other valuables in its path. Sometimes, the ability to think critically is lost when one absorbs too much formal education. Problem solving is not entirely in a textbook. Common sense and basic understanding of monetary policy, what bolsters a currency's value and prevents inflation are simple concepts that should not be masked in complex silly jargon but I'm way off on a tangent so I'll stop here. The most heartbreaking statement of the night was when at least 50% of the gathering agreed to this line of reasoning by one of the educated elites; "people are reluctant to be activists for the cause because they don't feel like Ghana did anything for them!".. WOW.

Back to the subject of corruption. Man for chop-- Not a bad idea at all because I believe in the idea of profiting from ones labor, whatever that labor is. So if we are going to be governed by this idea, can we at least make sure that, in our search for profit, we don't neglect our accountability to the Nation. It should hurt your pride that you took a contract to supply school kids with 80 Computers at an inflated cost of $250,000 and you still managed to supply only 15 refurbished China-brand computers and spent the rest on a car and fucking young girls. Since we can't count on your sense of pride to do the right thing for the poor kids who desperately need to know what the use of a computer is in 2014, the more appropriate approach is to have checks and balances-- accountability -- enforceable and punishable by law. An entity that consists of well paid public appointed personnel who have no party affiliations to keep the contractor honest. As a personal principle, I refuse to simply participate in decadent cronyism. If my brother is making a shirt for me, I hold him to the same standards as I do Ralph Lauren in terms of the quality of finish. I won't accept mediocrity just because we are blood or friends. I will gladly give my brother my business over the outsider who is just as good as him though, his only edge now being he is my brother and is just as good. I'm losing the plot but my hope is that, our generation learns to hold each other more accountable for our work. If your friend starts a restaurant, patronize it instead of asking for free stuff and discounts. However, if the food sucks, don't just sit there and keep patronizing the garbage without telling them your review of their shitty service and food. If they fail to improve, take your business elsewhere. In the larger context of culture and governance, those of you that secure political power in the future and now, I beg you to heed some of these virtues. Start holding your cronies to higher standards. They cannot leave a road project incomplete and then claim an assorted number of unverifiable reasons as to why without being reprimanded or held accountable. Let your friends and cronies know you will look out but if they fuck up, they'll have to deal with the law and the entity in charge of transparency and accountability that keeps oversight of all governmental contracts. In our efforts to help each other succeed, let us not neglect responsibility. Ghana has done a lot for us, to answer my friend from the previous paragraph. The education you received(which is superior in a lot of theoretical learning ways by the way)  was government subsidized for your entire life until you left Ghana to live in the USA or wherever in the West you landed. The teachers that taught you were underpaid heavily because the true cost of your education was unaffordable to your parents. Ghana gives you your identity, even if you naturalize as American or a Westerner of whatever variety, your history is forever tied to Ghana.


Did your parents pay their taxes in full or at all? Did they burn or wrongfully dispose of trash without being fined for it? Did you use the roads as a means to go to and fro? Did you piss on the ground with no repercussions? How many times did you bribe your way out of trouble with a police officer and get away with a crime, misdemeanor or not?! Did you apply for a Ghanaian passport to be able to travel outside of its shores? If you couldn't simply claim to be Ghanaian, you'd have no validation of a Nationality. Next time you are feeling so callous about the privilege of being Ghanaian, toss it away and tell any concerned party/entity to discount your citizenship and consider you a citizen of the world! Just try it, see how well it goes over with the officer waiting to arrest you for fraud and traveling without identification. The fuck do you mean what has Ghana done for you? You owe it more than it does you and for all your brilliance at excelling in Academia, you ain't shit without an identity. You love the West because the system works-- it is so because good people sacrificed, those who knew better pulled the less educated along and they still are. People sacrificed their lives so you can claim your right to be paid a fair wage, given adequate housing, access to constant clean drinking water, electricity as an afterthought because it is always on unless there is a natural disaster and even then there is emergency response required to save your sorry non-American ass. People sacrificed so that the rule of law governed and protected the citizens, by and large. You have rights and access to information, the right to question the government and how they are managing the Nation's resources. There might be a deadlock or Government shutdown but gatdamnit you'll get your retroactive pay when they resume. While they are shut down, police officers are still working, traffic lights still blinking, courthouses still collecting fines for traffic violations, schools are still open, hospitals still can't refuse emergency care, student loans are still distributed, food stamps flapping in the ghettos, water still flowing, electricity still on even if you haven't paid your bills and it is cold in the winter or hot in the summer and everything essential to the normalcy of everyday life for the majority of the country still functions properly. You get to file a tax return every year and make amends or get a refund because someone insisted that it was your right as a law-abiding citizen, not ask questions like why should I fight for other Americans when the country has never done jack crap for me. People fought because they believed in the idea of a better standard of living for all humans, the bare necessities that is.That when it is hot outside beyond humane conditions, you ride the bus for free and people hand out free bottles of water, that there is a shelter for the homeless, that the less financially fortunate families can still have decent housing, that a hospital can not turn you away in case of emergency because it is against the law! Americans/Westerners sacrificed so these things became the law of their land-- not by wondering what America or their  various countries had done for them but by believing that it is the right thing to do! What has Ghana done for you? You need perspective and I doubt if I can impart enough of it in this blogpost! Wake the fuck up onua-(friend), you owe your country and it doesn't owe you one ananse shilling or kobo! Fuck it, I'm tired of thinking and writing, TBC....

• Dogs do not actually prefer bones to meat; it is just that no one ever gives them meat. ~ Akan Proverb

Liberal Conservatism, there is such a thing. I am one of its adherents.

Political correctness, is killing common sense slowly, in my opinion. It is also simultaneously infringing on one groups rights in certain instances while attempting to appease another. Have we all become so sensitive? Our language is undergoing a pleasant-always-engineering that makes me cringe. Its a freaking Christmas tree and if you don't like it don't say it or look at one, damn it! I was alarmed when I found myself agreeing with Bill O'reilly on this topic, it was sacrilege to all things intellectual.


I disagree that Christians have to change their traditions to appease non-Christians. That will be the equivalent of asking Jewish people to rename  Bar Mitvahs in order to be sensitive towards Nazis or anyone else. The attrition of the Christian faith by certain progressives is making it an endangered faith, one that many, including myself are shamelessly committed to. As a strong critic of religious fanaticism, I am by no means championing the enforcement of any religious act on the public. However, the foundations of this civilization is largely conjoined with Christian and other religious traditions. I don't think it is fair to alter these traditions with a simplified argument of inclusiveness when the very vehicle of it is one of exclusivity. The intent of political correctness is to remove hatred or offensiveness in the public sphere with the goal of being fair to humans of every creed. It is a noble agenda, however, its purpose is now lost in the convolution of what is sugar-coated rather than what is fair.

It is not fair to broad-brush paint all Muslims as terrorists just as it is flat out wrong to consider all Christians as unintelligent fanatics who don't believe in science. Granted, stereotypes have roots in truth, however, we must distinguish behavior associated with a people from the people themselves. We cannot fairly understand our fellow human beings without eliminating the existing assumptions we've made about said people. It is also a disservice to the existence of soluble dialogue that will engineer the harmonious co-existence of diversity in humans that we all hope for. In my opinion, the fairest way to understand a people is through a thorough investigation of the real causes of the issues they face-- why they are who they are and why they hold the beliefs they do with unabashed integrity through conversation.

Discourse is a necessary part of our societal structure. We can have the debate but precluding any real tangible criticism of the the subject under discussion pre-discussion makes some of the real true thoughts of those "ignorant" about the details of the subject remain un-addressed. Take the subject of homosexuality for instance. Talking to persons who hold PhD's and other revered tertiary degrees makes me wonder when we all got so sensitive and judgmental or uppity? I can't ask a question, a legitimate one at that, without being labeled "homophobic or unintelligent". For the record, I have no fear of homosexuals or their sexual preferences. I simply do not think the notion that sexual preference is genetic is more accurate than not, generally. This thought process is based on scientific evidence and I'm yet to be shown any real plausible and credible data that contradicts my current opinion.

The norms of sexuality have been defined as such through years of consistency in human, animal and natural behavior. A deviation from the norm is not inherently sinful or bad, unless your definition is based on religious morality but the facts of science regarding the function of anatomic parts can not be disputed. This is what I'm implying without being facetious; there are very natural inalienable functions of certain body parts that assist with its scientific definition. The leg is primarily designed for mobility. As the ear is for hearing, eyes for seeing and tearing, mouth for speech and food and so on. Just because you can pour water into your ears doesn't suddenly re-define it's function as an organ for the consumption of food and drinks. My basic argument is that, homosexuality is a deviation from the natural order of the human sexual disposition. You can put your penis wherever you choose to but it is scientifically irrefutable that it's designated destination in the natural function of sex is the vagina. Just as you can insert anything into the vagina. Any other destination or tool does not prevent it from performing the same function or receiving similar sensations to when it penetrates a vagina. Any heterosexual person, if blindfolded and caressed by any pair of hands, male or female, their body would respond to the external sexual stimuli-- male or female. Does this re-define the function of a penis and a vagina suddenly? No it does not and therefore, I still stand by the fact that, homosexuality is not genetic but usually a choice.

This however, does not give other humans the right to vilify or abuse homosexuals for their lifestyle choice. In the public arena, the law has to protect all, especially those in the minority in order to sustain a fair society. Those laws that make a sexual choice illegal are a waste of human resources in my opinion because to a large extent, sexual preference has no real effect or bearing on the social, economic and political well-being of any society.

That said, there are certain rules that should not be compromised for the sake of political correctness. An example being this recent Politically Correct push to allow the youth, especially students to identify with a gender that they've defined for themselves and impose on others. If a child is born male and identifies as female, it does not translate to him being allowed to use the females bathroom because he identifies as one. Or walk around campus in high heels and be a source of distraction to other students whose main purpose for being on the campus is to acquire an education, not debate a fellow students style choices or conduct. When you go to school, obey the basic rules of conduct or get tutored at home. What we are teaching is that, any form of rebellion is a noble cause. As an adult, fighting for the rights of gays to be included in the power and economic structure without prejudice is simply common sense since it is obvious that no one's sexuality affects their ability to perform a job. Unless we are referencing a Religious institution. If the religion exclusively states that their moral codes aren't negotiable, the institution should not be forced to change its beliefs to suit an opposing group of people. Why would you even want to force yourself to be a part of any institution  that condemns your lifestyle anyway? That is my personal opinion but as a matter of broader policy, the separation of Church and State shouldn't and can't be a one-way street. Just as we strongly advocate that all Religious activity be kept out of governance, it should hold true for religious institutions by not imposing secular ideology on any religion.

The debates about social issues in the modern world is currently at it's peak, in the sense that progressives are pushing for major change that will serve as the impetus for future laws to be predicated on. Meanwhile, on the other side of the coin, conservatives are pushing to maintain the status quo. From Russia to Uganda, governments are finding the need to actually ban homosexuality as an important societal issue. I'd think there are more pressing issues facing the populace than who they are fucking but let me not be judgmental, just a few years back, I could not tolerate any conversation about gays wanting their rights sculpted into the law of the land. What I believe now is, their choices need the protection of the law because it inadvertently is their right to not be persecuted in a land where they live and pay taxes etc.

Since I got called nigger ever so casually by my deranged old white lady neighbor this weekend, after she egged my car by the way, I want to address the racial slur. I am a little alarmed by the sudden surge in certain journalists' argument to make it fair for all(white people) to use the word nigga/nigger because rappers are using it in their music. Are we now that fucking stupid and oblivious to common sense? If I insult my father to you because he upset me, as my friend, that gives you no authority or permission to ever in your shameful unaccomplished life repeat the gesture when you encounter him. There is a difference between nigga and nigger by the way so for those who even have to be given an explanation for the difference, just don't use it. I thought this was basic human etiquette? Maybe I'm just ancient. I personally could care less about the word "nigga" or "nigger" and it's implication because I've never identified with the horrid meanings of it. More tellingly is that, a person of any race calling me nigger is as trivial to me as being called stupid or ugly. That is their opinion and they are entitled to it. I just think the less sensitive we are to words of that nature, the faster it loses it's power and effect.

We can not be the same PC public that preaches about "use your words" and then be sensitive when people take heed by using their words instead of fists or violence, regardless of how derogatory it may be. We should as a society teach people to not be so sensitive to what is said as opposed to what is done. Deeds are more damaging if they are the harmful kind. Like the stupid stand-your-ground laws that seem to find young black boys at the mercy of insecure white guys who feel threatened by the presence of a black male, no matter how young or harmless they may seem. Tea and Skittles. I'm needing to find a way to package and sell common sense which will be my fortune; get me out of this one bedroom apartment into a more appealing space where I can have countless bitches twerking to my dancehall tunes from the deep undeveloped branch-hanging monkeyland somewhere in Africa that I came from! How is that for a fucking politically incorrect goal? Peace.

HINDSIGHT

Hey, you look nice.. You are shy on the phone and you seem to be more engaged with the dinner plate at the moment than me but that is okay. I'm glad we came to a place that you actually enjoy the food. You said you were into food, you weren't lying huh?

So I showed up in your texts and here we are! Or did you show up in my texts? Okay, even if  I did, your cupcakes hint was an offering to the hungry and dying?--LOL. Well then, I felt special so thanks. :).

*Smiley faces, giggles and makes eye contact* *Damn she fine*

Well, I'm a pretty straight shooter.. I don't find fun in games any more and so I'll ask you this; what are you tryna do? 'Cos I just want someone to hang with and talk shit with on the regular, laugh and be real with. I know it might be kinda early and all but you should let a dude like me change your habit of not wanting to call and chat on the phone much.. I like where you live, we should go for walks sometimes, maybe you can work me out :) .. I mean work out with me.. lol. Fuck it, you ready? Ight let's get you home, I plan to pick you up a few more occasions so let's not drain out the excitement on our first date..

*Still smiley faces after all of her phrases, she barely says much but I see the twinkle in her eyes*

Ok hon, I had a great time and ........... *OMG we are sucking face like Indiana Jones searching for treasures behind our tooth cavities* -- *Okay, gross but it was the the first indicator that shawty was a keeper*  *She knows what she wants and goes for it*

So, I'd cut to the chase. I think you are tall so can you wear flats often? LOL, really I don't mind cos with your shoes off I'm taller anyway.. *side-eye*... I like you, I don't need to figure you out, would you be my girlfriend?

*This is how it should have played out,.... 20/20....

PERFECT

Gender. Ladies and gentlemen, indulge me for a thoroughly unnecessary post. The actual piece I've been working on is done and actively sitting in my draft posts and I'm still not feeling it as much so I revamped this old piece out of my drafts instead....

In our efforts to become better persons, I'm sure we encounter struggles that seep deep into the core of the foundations of what we've been raised to know. My evolution is based on my desire to just be the best human being I can be. It is that simple, not for points or recognition nor pussy. I just have this appetite to be right in my walk in life, to know that I treated people as fairly as I knew how and believed. That phrase "no one can be perfect" preached in Sunday School rubbed me a bit harder than the rest of yous I think. LOL. I hate taking advantage of people or using people for that matter. It is a difficult way to be not only because I fall short a lot but also the interaction with the rest of the world is not entirely conditioned to my way of thinking or doing things. I am the misnomer. Are you one?

The idea of the natural order of things; as we have evolved, the factors that warranted the superiority of the male over the female is constantly being challenged and refuted by what both sexes are constantly able to achieve outside the norms of what society has confined them to. Knowledge and technology have given us the opportunity to improve our skills as individuals, regardless of gender, and the demands of our Societies and their Economies make it even more prudent to allow all able bodies to participate in the contribution to human progress. There was a time and still remains in many societies,-- in both the most advanced parts of the world and the rather indigenous where gender roles are essential to the proper functioning of the family structure and the well-being of the community in general. I happen to agree that the family unit is the most essential aspect of any society's progress. Let's leave that thought alone for another post.

The "natural" role of women was probably derived from their maternal nature(the majority). They are the ones through which our continued existence is guaranteed-- biologically. It was probably thought wise, looking at all other forms of procreating life, that women(females) are predisposed to the task of raising kids and by extension all the responsibilities that come with it. Homemakers by default of their biology. As the world has advanced, the desire of women to be respected as equals in the human chain is an endeavor that is long overdue. It should have never been in question in the first place. The patriarchal system put in place was a way to probably bring order into our society. Orderliness is essential for progress in any endeavor. However, reducing women to a specific definition was where the sense of orderliness denigrated into a desire to control. What was never acknowledged is; lifting boulders and building bridges was not more important than mothering and home-making. They were congruently important for the sustenance of society as we know it. If I have to elaborate on the "why" it should be so, then you need more than just this blog-post to reform your views so let's carry on.

Skip the history lesson. What is the real issue with empowered women? Women who find it as their choice to be just as sexual if not more sexual than their fellow men-- are the emotional issues or egos of men standing in the way of accepting that sexuality is equally a woman's right or women being able to have the same autonomy over their body and preferences like men do, their sole right to determine? What will a world like that result in? Maybe some chaos but if we believe the idea of gender roles to be based on the natural disposition of either sexes, then the deviations from it should not be an overall threat to the order of our current civilization, no? The argument can be made that, if enough people learn -- which they can since behavior is learned and taught or copied, to not play the existing defined gender roles, we may evolve into a chaotic society.  Boogeyman 101. :)

That is a projection that none of us may live long enough to witness so let's address current matters. A liberated woman is so attractive to me. It is so comforting, especially knowing a woman chose you as a preference as opposed to a set of categories that you met. That she wants you not because she's now aging and wanting to be married but she wants you because that's just it? I find that extremely attractive! I'd say it is a confusing dynamic when it comes to real-world dating because, the women I end up attracted to are still evolving in their sense of freedom of self. Let me expound. They are independent, intelligent and ambitious women who don't count how long before they should have sex with a guy or whether that defines their dignity. However, in the same breath, they have certain ingrained traits that give them a desire to conform to the norms of society at some point. It baffles me because then I wonder where the feminism or independence from the patriarchy gets ignored and their "natural" pre-dispositions as defined before kick in. I know women who want no parts of having a baby, most of them want to adopt instead so there is a quasi-mothering desire there. That need to be a wife and a mother is almost synonymous with womanhood. I'm sure there are exceptions but I'm talking about the general pool here. Is it only a matter of time before certain women decide marriage and child birth can suck it? How would we deal? It is a fascinating thought but for now, and until then hold that 10% of your salary for the wedding band in a safe account because if you fall in love, you will marry! LOL.

As this is not an indictment of the female gender, as men, we also have our issues with fully accepting the patriarchal roles placed on us. I constantly encounter the notion of guys crying about women wanting them for just their money all the time. Like guys who are literally willing to be "the man" until it gets to their pocket. They want that respect, the reverence and regard, they want to put their foot down and beat their chests.. except not pay for it or be the ones that foot the bill. It is their God given right-- don't tell them about equality! What rattles me the most is usually most of these guys worked so hard for exactly that; the attention of women they wouldn't have encountered in the first place just by sheer demographics then get mad when they get the attention they eagerly sought?? Gold-diggers are annoying though, only because they sound like beggars but I've probably encountered just one and damn was her body worth paying for!! I had to let her go though because it was old after the second "can you buy me this perfume" and "I want money for my plane ticket"-- Chic, this isn't a request line, take you phat ass over there, far away from me where I can't lust for it. Back to the men-- they also want to fuck as many dimes as possible and settle with a woman who has a very limited sexual history, a non-ho! So who should marry the girls you were fucking on your way to maturity and settling down? Needless to say, I'm personally allergic to virgins. Can one choose  balance?

In a perfect world, you meet a woman who is in love with everything that you are and wants just that. She respects you just because respecting another human being comes to them by default. She loves you completely and whatnot. You in turn love and respect her for exactly everything she is, her choices her dreams, goals and all that shit and you don't expect anything of her that you don't expect of  yourself or that she doesn't expect of herself. You don't treat each other based on what sexual organ you have but as cerebral individuals who have made a conscious and emotional decision to love one another.

Then somebody slapped me back to reality, this is real life not Utopia fuck-face!!

Hearts.

Love.

The war is almost over.  Silhouettes of fear draped the room, flowing with much uninhibited grace.

She's dancing away like a whirlwind. Tracing the floor in a pattern of rage, resurrecting the dead tissues of melancholy. Lady!

Today you get flowers, chocolate and the left chest organ screaming like the keys of a grand piano.

Show up at her door and yell your peace. Don't dance till the energy is dissipated, grasp it, feel it.

Sew words where your actions hold no thread. Inhale it with the intensity of....

Don't get poetic, just take her where she's never been. Rest your guard, tonight you dine on her heart while it is raw. Nothing is ever sure, it is all a chance you gotta take. You don't believe much in the exercise of instructed love, so what? Today break some of your worthless rules, there's no prize in heaven for holding on to them so tight. The only thing that matters is now, the moment, how real, relish it.

We set out to voice a tale of the beauty of loving. Few come around with this much force. Your man card is no less valuable because you embraced the force. The alternative is feeling a bunch of bullshit that never mattered 9-months after the moment is gone, your wishes are not respected by time. 

Walk into the restaurant with the confidence of a frightened pup. She sits, shoulders drooping and chin reclined with the patience of certainty. Darting eyes, the usual cocktail untouched. Tailing between your lap are your wants in a pouch. Sit, say hello and dance with her thoughts. Spar with her every objection. Fight them with the resolve of the last surviving member of a lineage.  Can't rely on your smile to fill this void, it lost its power to the smirks of your fuckery. The moment shrinks into the abyss, ball and chain can't draw it back. It is fleeting, evanescent and elusive.

I woke up and she was right next to me, she never left. Rows of sweat parading my body as if they just ran the heart olympics. The flame is dimming but still burns. "I brought you breakfast my dear, I will gladly massage your curling toes. You stayed one night too long and now you are stuck here with me because I let go of my ego."--- Intensity of desire.

Happy Valentines to all those that love dark, savage speech. Whatever you love, love more.