Monday, February 24, 2014


Gender. Ladies and gentlemen, indulge me for a thoroughly unnecessary post. The actual piece I've been working on is done and actively sitting in my draft posts and I'm still not feeling it as much so I revamped this old piece out of my drafts instead....

In our efforts to become better persons, I'm sure we encounter struggles that seep deep into the core of the foundations of what we've been raised to know. My evolution is based on my desire to just be the best human being I can be. It is that simple, not for points or recognition nor pussy. I just have this appetite to be right in my walk in life, to know that I treated people as fairly as I knew how and believed. That phrase "no one can be perfect" preached in Sunday School rubbed me a bit harder than the rest of yous I think. LOL. I hate taking advantage of people or using people for that matter. It is a difficult way to be not only because I fall short a lot but also the interaction with the rest of the world is not entirely conditioned to my way of thinking or doing things. I am the misnomer. Are you one?

The idea of the natural order of things; as we have evolved, the factors that warranted the superiority of the male over the female is constantly being challenged and refuted by what both sexes are constantly able to achieve outside the norms of what society has confined them to. Knowledge and technology have given us the opportunity to improve our skills as individuals, regardless of gender, and the demands of our Societies and their Economies make it even more prudent to allow all able bodies to participate in the contribution to human progress. There was a time and still remains in many societies,-- in both the most advanced parts of the world and the rather indigenous where gender roles are essential to the proper functioning of the family structure and the well-being of the community in general. I happen to agree that the family unit is the most essential aspect of any society's progress. Let's leave that thought alone for another post.

The "natural" role of women was probably derived from their maternal nature(the majority). They are the ones through which our continued existence is guaranteed-- biologically. It was probably thought wise, looking at all other forms of procreating life, that women(females) are predisposed to the task of raising kids and by extension all the responsibilities that come with it. Homemakers by default of their biology. As the world has advanced, the desire of women to be respected as equals in the human chain is an endeavor that is long overdue. It should have never been in question in the first place. The patriarchal system put in place was a way to probably bring order into our society. Orderliness is essential for progress in any endeavor. However, reducing women to a specific definition was where the sense of orderliness denigrated into a desire to control. What was never acknowledged is; lifting boulders and building bridges was not more important than mothering and home-making. They were congruently important for the sustenance of society as we know it. If I have to elaborate on the "why" it should be so, then you need more than just this blog-post to reform your views so let's carry on.

Skip the history lesson. What is the real issue with empowered women? Women who find it as their choice to be just as sexual if not more sexual than their fellow men-- are the emotional issues or egos of men standing in the way of accepting that sexuality is equally a woman's right or women being able to have the same autonomy over their body and preferences like men do, their sole right to determine? What will a world like that result in? Maybe some chaos but if we believe the idea of gender roles to be based on the natural disposition of either sexes, then the deviations from it should not be an overall threat to the order of our current civilization, no? The argument can be made that, if enough people learn -- which they can since behavior is learned and taught or copied, to not play the existing defined gender roles, we may evolve into a chaotic society.  Boogeyman 101. :)

That is a projection that none of us may live long enough to witness so let's address current matters. A liberated woman is so attractive to me. It is so comforting, especially knowing a woman chose you as a preference as opposed to a set of categories that you met. That she wants you not because she's now aging and wanting to be married but she wants you because that's just it? I find that extremely attractive! I'd say it is a confusing dynamic when it comes to real-world dating because, the women I end up attracted to are still evolving in their sense of freedom of self. Let me expound. They are independent, intelligent and ambitious women who don't count how long before they should have sex with a guy or whether that defines their dignity. However, in the same breath, they have certain ingrained traits that give them a desire to conform to the norms of society at some point. It baffles me because then I wonder where the feminism or independence from the patriarchy gets ignored and their "natural" pre-dispositions as defined before kick in. I know women who want no parts of having a baby, most of them want to adopt instead so there is a quasi-mothering desire there. That need to be a wife and a mother is almost synonymous with womanhood. I'm sure there are exceptions but I'm talking about the general pool here. Is it only a matter of time before certain women decide marriage and child birth can suck it? How would we deal? It is a fascinating thought but for now, and until then hold that 10% of your salary for the wedding band in a safe account because if you fall in love, you will marry! LOL.

As this is not an indictment of the female gender, as men, we also have our issues with fully accepting the patriarchal roles placed on us. I constantly encounter the notion of guys crying about women wanting them for just their money all the time. Like guys who are literally willing to be "the man" until it gets to their pocket. They want that respect, the reverence and regard, they want to put their foot down and beat their chests.. except not pay for it or be the ones that foot the bill. It is their God given right-- don't tell them about equality! What rattles me the most is usually most of these guys worked so hard for exactly that; the attention of women they wouldn't have encountered in the first place just by sheer demographics then get mad when they get the attention they eagerly sought?? Gold-diggers are annoying though, only because they sound like beggars but I've probably encountered just one and damn was her body worth paying for!! I had to let her go though because it was old after the second "can you buy me this perfume" and "I want money for my plane ticket"-- Chic, this isn't a request line, take you phat ass over there, far away from me where I can't lust for it. Back to the men-- they also want to fuck as many dimes as possible and settle with a woman who has a very limited sexual history, a non-ho! So who should marry the girls you were fucking on your way to maturity and settling down? Needless to say, I'm personally allergic to virgins. Can one choose  balance?

In a perfect world, you meet a woman who is in love with everything that you are and wants just that. She respects you just because respecting another human being comes to them by default. She loves you completely and whatnot. You in turn love and respect her for exactly everything she is, her choices her dreams, goals and all that shit and you don't expect anything of her that you don't expect of  yourself or that she doesn't expect of herself. You don't treat each other based on what sexual organ you have but as cerebral individuals who have made a conscious and emotional decision to love one another.

Then somebody slapped me back to reality, this is real life not Utopia fuck-face!!

No comments: